I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
