I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
