its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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