I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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