Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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