8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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