dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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