Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Less talking, more tequila
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
