yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize