Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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