meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
