So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
