The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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