I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
