so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
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just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize