Dude my mom stole all your condoms
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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