so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
