How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
