The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
