Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
