what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
