I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
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I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
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Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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