I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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