You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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