Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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