that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
