As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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