i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
well you can't waste a boner
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
