Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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