he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
