Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
