Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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