Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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