She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
