I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
