whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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