I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
