I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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