she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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