i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
