I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
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