spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
