even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My ATM looks so different sober.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
