we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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