i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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