I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
