I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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