Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
