I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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