We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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