You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
