you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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