So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
