Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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