He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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