susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
