So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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