I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
