i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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