I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
