I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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