Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
