i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
