the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
