So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i now understand why vodka
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
