My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
