i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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